The best Mitt Romney stories showcase his “friendly alien” side, the way in which Romney tries desperately to engage in the behavior of the earthlings he lives with and works alongside, but never quite succeeds. Why not put the dog in a carrier atop the station wagon? In today’s installment, Romney is hauled away to jail in his wet bathing suit, and VDB is loving it. From The New Republic:
At a stop in Keene, a hopped-up Mitt Romney attempted to crush and then eat a small child.
“IN JUNE 1981, Romney and his family were about to launch their motorboat on Lake Cochituate, west of Boston, when a state park ranger alerted Romney, who was 34 at the time, that he risked a $50 fine because the boat’s registration number was painted over. According to news reports that emerged during his 1994 run for Senate, Romney believed that the number was partly visible, and, against his wife Ann’s advice, proceeded to launch anyway.
“’I figured I was at the state park with my kids,’ Romney told The Boston Globe in 1994. ‘My five kids were in the car wondering why we weren’t going out in the boat, so I said I’d launch and pay the fine.’
“The ranger ordered him to shore, put him in handcuffs, and drove him, still in his wet bathing suit, to the Natick police station, where he was booked for disorderly conduct. The charges were dropped a few days later, the case was formally dismissed in February 1982 by Natick District Court, and the court file was sealed at Romney’s request.
“’He did not have the right to arrest me, because I was not a disorderly person,’ he told the Globe.“
So trust VDB: there will come a moment — many moments, actually — this coming weekend when you will have eaten a week’s worth of food in two days, and you will genuinely feel like a beached whale, a beached whale with no hope of the tide ever coming back in, ever. You will feel like the whale that even other whales sarcastically reference when they’re feeling like beached whales. That will be late Friday night, heading into early Saturday morning. And only one thing can combat this feeling, and that’s several straight hours of tough, punishing exercise. But you won’t want to do this exercise. You won’t want to do it at all.
Fortunately for you, Vermont Access to Reproductive Freedom has squared that circle: Saturday night the 26th, from 7-midnight they will be presenting the 3rd Annual Shake Off at the Main Street Landing, Union Station.
And it will help a great deal, because this blend of soul, disco, hip-hop, italo, new wave, old school funk — and dub step, which admittedly sounds like something from Neuromancer — is irresistible and by the time you stumble home, you’ll be cured, reborn.
And you’ll benefit an organization designed to ensure that all women’s reproductive health is protected and ensured. And in a world where Planned Parenthood is under coordinated attack at the national level, it’s past time to get serious about protecting those rights here in Vermont.
Less seriously: will there be a full cash bar? Yes, there will. What will it look like as you gaze out over the disco-frenzied crowd? Here’s a visual, although maybe this even understates the case. Hope you can make it.
As Newt’s been surging in the polls, America has asked one simple but yearning question: where’s the guy who once promoted Dickensian orphanages as the solution to the liberal welfare state? Well, look no further, because he’s back, friends. And his new solution to generational poverty is, uh, child labor. That’s right.
Why? Because it will break the cycle of poverty and teach kids the value of a dollar, the way the 19th-century robber barons learned it, and as an added bonus it’s anti-union. Behold the beauty of the modern GOP primary, in which talk radio goes 3D. Via Politico:
“This is something that no liberal wants to deal with . . . Most of these schools ought to get rid of the unionized janitors, have one master janitor and pay local students to take care of the school. The kids would actually do work, they would have cash, they would have pride in the schools, they’d begin the process of rising.”
Ah, yes, the master janitor. Just the man we want in charge of the little ones. So much pride in that arrangement.
This is genius. And if it breaks the cycle of poverty in schools, imagine what it’ll do in the coal mines.
How beautiful is this? As Occupy Wall Street protesters were walking across the Brooklyn Bridge on Thursday night, a 99% “Bat Signal” started flashing messages across the Verizon Building near the East River. Where was it originating? An apartment in a housing project across the highway. And when it was over, the signal simply shut down. Direct confrontation, but purely visual, without a scintilla of damage to anyone or anything. Sheer genius.
There are some things you wish your sainted grandmother could have lived to see. Unbeknownst to VDB, we cropped up in one of those cheesy Sunday magazines that give the Sunday paper heft. Which one? American Profile, which identifies itself as “Celebrating The American Spirit.” That’s right. So never let our patriotism be questioned ever again.
And the placement was not just anywhere in the insert, but in the uber-prestigious “Did You Know?” trivia column, featuring weird or quirky details from the 50 states, and situated just over the half-page ad for colorized Bull Run Commemorative coins. A position we now share with the creators of Curious George, so take that, Pulitzer Prize committee members. Many thanks to longtime VDB-reader Carol, down Brattleboro way, for her sharp eye and wit.
Keep your eye on the University of Vermont long enough, and you’ll notice one trend above all others: the campus erupts in scandal, those scandals produce statewide outrage, and then the President and the Board of Trustees snap into action – so long as the scandal doesn’t directly concern the President or the Board of Trustees.
Search your memory for recent UVM scandals, and then search it for changes those scandals produced. The binging scandal? UVM adopted a zero-tolerance policy concerning on-campus drinking. The hazing scandal? Then-President Judith Ramaley scratched the hockey season and announced – you see the pattern already – a zero-tolerance policy concerning hazing.
But outrage concerning UVM’s higher administration produces only more outrage.
When Dan Fogel refused to live in Engelsby House, the Trustees responded – with a housing allowance that eventually totaled a quarter of a million dollars. When an inappropriate relationship ended Fogel’s tenure, the Trustees responded – with lavish pay-outs that benefited all three of that scandal’s central players, including two asked to leave University service.
Yes, this has to do with an overly chummy relationship between the President and the Board, but there’s more: UVM’s Trustees remain committed to a corporate style of governance in which a premium is placed on downsizing, and those accomplishing the sharp reductions at the bottom are always “incentivized” with a healthy percentage of the savings.
At the corporate level, this is a strategy for the American executive class to survive globalization with their own benefits and prestige intact, and no less so at the University. We are now entering the fourth year of recession, but corporate profits are at record highs.
I’ll offer just one parallel statistic concerning UVM: In 2002 the University had three Vice Presidents, but by 2009 we had twenty-six.
Twenty-six Vice Presidents.
So one of the reasons the Trustees resist pressure to “rightsize” the total compensation of UVM’s President is that it casts an unwanted spotlight on an entire administrative culture of largesse. Reductions in the highest salary would necessitate reductions in pay for the VP’s just below, and so on.
Even the head-hunting firm UVM hired to find Fogel’s replacement is actually paid – well more than $200,000 – based on the incoming President’s projected salary. Each protects the next.
And when the Trustees eventually go public with a plan to pay the newcomer not less but more than the eye-popping figure Fogel received, they will argue that the compensation is pegged to that of higher-paid Presidents nationwide, and that therefore their hands as a Board are tied. They’ve already begun to hint that incoming candidates will be bringing their own lawyers to negotiations – another way of suggesting that reform is impossible.
But let me say this as simply as I can: Don’t believe them.
We can pay the incoming President less than Fogel received overall – and we should. We can eliminate housing allowances, performance bonuses and paid leaves upon termination – and we should. We can demand a sustainable President to match the sustainable workforce the Trustees are cutting so painfully to create. We can, but you – you reading these words – need to demand it now, before negotiations with the next President begin.
Vermont leads, and we can help to reform runaway Presidential salaries nationwide, rather than being held hostage by them. Let’s face the brutal facts – we are a nation mired in the Great Recession, and there are plenty of gifted fundraisers and savvy Provosts who would take on the President’s title for a good deal less.
That’s the deepest secret, of course, the truth that corporate America seeks to conceal above all else: if golden parachutes become suddenly unavailable, CEOs and University Presidents will eagerly compete for bronze.
Philip Baruth is a State Senator representing Chittenden County, and a Professor in the UVM English Department.
In spite of an insanely long caucus this past Sunday, our work as Burlington Democrats isn’t quite finished. We’ll be holding one last final ballot sometime in the next several weeks to select a Mayoral nominee for the general election. The choice is between two excellent candidates, but I’ll be attending a press conference at 1:15 today in Contois Auditorium to announce my support for Miro. Don’t expect everyone to agree, of course — there are passionate feelings on all sides of this race — but I thought I’d share my thoughts with you all first, as in everything. — PB
Endorsement of Miro Weinberger
Sen. Philip Baruth
Let’s face facts: the Democratic Party in Vermont has a very, very deep bench. It’s not unusual at all for us to field four or five truly excellent candidates in the same primary. We are the party of Choice, and given the choice, we prefer lots and lots of choice. And after an historic 6-hour caucus last Sunday, we still have one final choice to make.
Both Miro Weinberger and Tim Ashe are young, energetic and capable. Both have extensive experience in municipal planning and building. I’ve known both for years, and I think of both as friends and colleagues.
But watching the mayoral race unfold, I’ve been deeply impressed by Miro’s ability to reach out and build relationships – with his supporters, and with his opponents and their supporters. He is a gifted leader, and one destined for great things because he inspires loyalty by demonstrating loyalty to others.
Miro came into the race with a specific financial plan for the city, a credible, workable plan, and given that our credit rating has taken a beating – and may take another in the near future – I found that plan reassuring. His campaign has been a model of organization and drive and competence. It will be a very powerful team to bring into the general election.
And in this particular mayoral race, in this particular year, Miro Weinberger brings one final absolutely crucial advantage into a head-to-head match-up with his Republican opponent: Miro can challenge Kurt Wright directly on Burlington Telecom – far and away the number one issue in this race.
Only Miro can point out what Kurt would prefer to have forgotten: that as Council President and a member of the city’s Finance Committee, Kurt Wright was very much present and voting when the dream of Burlington Telecom turned into a fiscal nightmare.
That’s a record that must be challenged. I was on the schoolboard when Burlington Telecom’s devaluation suddenly ripped a half-million dollar hole in our very carefully crafted budget. Miro has seen a similar disastrous ripple effect as head of the Airport Commission. And our Democratic nominee must be someone who can press that challenge, someone who offers a clean break with the decision-making that allowed the BT debacle to unfold.
Everyone but Mayor Kiss agrees that it’s time for broad-based change in City Hall, and I believe that this campaign is uniquely poised to deliver that scale of change.
You’ve seen Miro’s signs around town. They say, very simply, “A Fresh Start.” And that, in a nutshell, is why I’ll be working hard to make Miro Weinberger the next mayor of Burlington.
First photos inside the crippled nuclear plant at Fukushima. You remember, that doomed plant that has the same basic design as the one down in Vernon. The one that will render that end of that particular Japanese island uninhabitable for an extremely long time. Sobering stuff.
People say Democrats are like cats, when it comes herding time, and also that we can screw up a free lunch, come noontime. But people are just dead wrong. The truth is that when we find a model that works, by God we stick to it. We put a Democrat in the Governor’s chair last time out, for instance, and how precisely did we do it? Way too many awesome candidates, competing head to head while the single Republican raised money and moved unhurriedly to the Center; a laborious, contentious recount; a Unity Rally without a candidate behind which to unify; and general kvetching and bedwetting at each and every stage of the game. A very successful gameplan, and one we’ll follow to the letter in this Burlington Mayor’s race. Onward.
At the heart of the Penn State molestation scandal is an Assistant Football Coach named Jerry Sandusky, who allegedly abused at least 8 young boys during his years with the program. Sandusky used charity work to recruit and groom his victims, and he was widely honored for that charity work. In fact, Sandusky was feted in 2002 by none other than Rick Santorum: “Then Pennsylvania Sen. Rick Santorum thought enough of Jerry Sandusky nine years ago to sponsor the former Penn State defense coordinator for a ‘Congressional Angels in Adoption’ award, citing his work with a non-profit group he founded to provide care for foster children.” Which is precisely the sort of news you want hitting the fan eight or ten weeks prior to Iowa.
Granted, Santorum was fooled as were many others. But being a fool, and having your name linked with the least palatable scandal of the many currently in the mix? Only Santorum can ring both those bells with so little effort.