November 21st, 2011

Thanks, Newt — Now We Know Who Gets To Sweep Those New Privatized Orphanages

by Philip Baruth

As Newt’s been surging in the polls, America has asked one simple but yearning question: where’s the guy who once promoted Dickensian orphanages as the solution to the liberal welfare state? Well, look no further, because he’s back, friends. And his new solution to generational poverty is, uh, child labor. That’s right.

Why? Because it will break the cycle of poverty and teach kids the value of a dollar, the way the 19th-century robber barons learned it, and as an added bonus it’s anti-union. Behold the beauty of the modern GOP primary, in which talk radio goes 3D. Via Politico:

“This is something that no liberal wants to deal with . . . Most of these schools ought to get rid of the unionized janitors, have one master janitor and pay local students to take care of the school. The kids would actually do work, they would have cash, they would have pride in the schools, they’d begin the process of rising.”

Ah, yes, the master janitor. Just the man we want in charge of the little ones. So much pride in that arrangement.

This is genius. And if it breaks the cycle of poverty in schools, imagine what it’ll do in the coal mines.