The best Mitt Romney stories showcase his “friendly alien” side, the way in which Romney tries desperately to engage in the behavior of the earthlings he lives with and works alongside, but never quite succeeds. Why not put the dog in a carrier atop the station wagon? In today’s installment, Romney is hauled away to jail in his wet bathing suit, and VDB is loving it. From The New Republic:

At a stop in Keene, a hopped-up Mitt Romney attempted to crush and then eat a small child.

“IN JUNE 1981, Romney and his family were about to launch their motorboat on Lake Cochituate, west of Boston, when a state park ranger alerted Romney, who was 34 at the time, that he risked a $50 fine because the boat’s registration number was painted over. According to news reports that emerged during his 1994 run for Senate, Romney believed that the number was partly visible, and, against his wife Ann’s advice, proceeded to launch anyway.

“’I figured I was at the state park with my kids,’ Romney told The Boston Globe in 1994. ‘My five kids were in the car wondering why we weren’t going out in the boat, so I said I’d launch and pay the fine.’

“The ranger ordered him to shore, put him in handcuffs, and drove him, still in his wet bathing suit, to the Natick police station, where he was booked for disorderly conduct. The charges were dropped a few days later, the case was formally dismissed in February 1982 by Natick District Court, and the court file was sealed at Romney’s request.

“’He did not have the right to arrest me, because I was not a disorderly person,’ he told the Globe.“