August 22nd, 2007

BREAKING NEWS: Bill Murray Faces Jail Time For Slow, Drunken Golf-Cart Driving, And No, This Is Not A Drill, People

by Philip Baruth

Okay, look, we kid around here at VDB a great deal, perhaps too much. But occasionally a story surfaces that demands not only a straight face but a sober hand, and a grim attention to the time-honored Ethics of Journalism.

it's in the hole

Fortunately, this isn’t it: Bill Murray popped for DWI, while operating a golf cart at extremely low speeds through the early morning streets of Stockholm.

We say again: a golf cart. Roger that.

According to CNN, “Police officers spotted the 56-year-old actor-comedian early Sunday in the slow-moving vehicle and noticed he smelled of alcohol when they pulled him over, said Detective-Inspector Christer Holmlund of the Stockholm police.”

Murray refused a breathalyzer test, but then allowed a blood test and signed a document admitted to driving while under the influence. Not exactly a stonewall strategy, but then Murray may be crazy like a fox. Continues CNN, “It isn’t illegal to drive a golf cart in city traffic in Sweden, but Holmlund said it is very unusual.”

At the risk of pointing out the patently obvious, was this story tailor-made for VDB or what? Bill Murray, Sweden, golf carts?

Thank you, Jesus.

And of course, you as well, Dalai Lama.