John McCain isn’t the fleetest of candidates when it comes to dodging the dodgy question. He’s not, frankly, a young man, and he’s obviously used to having his way: as a Senator, and as a Senator whose cozy relationship with the press has long allowed him to duck questions with a wink.

He’s said that when we bring the troops home doesn’t matter. But in an interview with the Orange County Register, he takes all of this not mattering to strange new heights. One of the key back-and-forths:

When was the last time you pumped your own gas and how much did it cost?

Oh, I don’t remember. Now there’s Secret Service protection. But I’ve done it for many, many years. I don’t recall and frankly, I don’t see how it matters. I’ve had hundreds and hundreds of town hall meetings, many as short a time ago as yesterday. I communicate with the people and they communicate with me very effectively.

Take a look at the answer again. It’s pretty brazen, especially the non sequitur about town hall meetings. Gas prices? Couldn’t tell you, and it isn’t going to make a damn bit of difference, my friend.

Until some bright boy or girl begins to edit down a reel of Johnny Mac listing all the things that don’t matter, in one killer sequence. We give it, say, 36 hours to appear somewhere on the web. More as details warrant.