February 22nd, 2009

BREAKING NEWS: William Shatner Sticks Full-Ironic Late-Career Dismount

by Philip Baruth

Consider the CIA’s highly intricate reverse-Manchurian plot, now in its final stages: William Shatner, once a sane, self-respecting Canadian, and now a crazed pop-culturized American camp icon, will return to the country of his birth to compete for the Prime Minister’s slot. Soon every Tim Hortons donut will be glazed with mind control drugs, and there’s not a damn thing Paul Martin can do about it.