March 25th, 2009

Lewinsky Saga Now A Major Movie; Out of Respect for Presidency, Roger Ebert Agrees to Discontinue “Thumbs Way Up” Rating

by Philip Baruth

You knew Hollywood would eventually go there. Turns out the Lewinsky saga will not be brought to the silver screen as a third-reel twist in a biopic of Bill Clinton: it will be a movie unto itself, with sneak previews at the Gap, Starbucks, and other hip Lewinsky-related franchises. In case you were wondering, Dennis Quaid will play Bill; Julianne Moore will play Hill. Said an anonymous industry insider, and we quote verbatim: “Playing Hillary, a wife who stands by her unfaithful husband, will be something she can get her teeth stuck into.” Truer word never spoken.