February 23rd, 2006

There! In the Sky! It’s . . . Bob Dole!

by Philip Baruth

You just can’t write this kind of humor: Dubai hires Bob Dole to lobby Congress on behalf of its bid to acquire six US ports.

First, Cheney shoots an old man. Then Bush promises to make his first veto in five years a veto upholding the sale of major US ports to a country that laundered funds for the 9/11 hijackers.

And now, yes, Bob Dole himself limps over the horizon. As the Cavalry, no less.

There will come a moment next November, when you’re sitting over a plate of turkey and squash and mashed potatoes and gravy, and you’re going to close your eyes and try to bring to mind all of the things you have to be thankful for in the last year.

All of these old tone-deaf Republicans will come to mind, one after the other. And you will find that your chestnut stuffing tastes chestnuttier than it ever has before, or ever will again.