BREAKING NEWS: Clinton Camp Rolls Out Celine Dion Theme; Unrest Reported in 12 American Cities; Canadian Embassy Menaced In NYC; Stay With VDB’s Coverage Throughout This Difficult Time
Seven different emails, pointing us to a development we’ve already been monitoring closely on the lucite maps in the VDB situation room: apparently, at some time late last night, the Clinton campaign threw the switch on a Celine Dion theme song, a tune sources peg as “You and I.”
What we know thus far:
Sources are hazy on Dion herself, but reports seem to agree that she is, in point of fact, Canadian.
Initial coverage that the song produces light bleeding from the eardrums seems to have been overblown, but doctors recommend limiting exposure until the Center for Disease Control gets its arms more completely around the problem.
Clearly this is an issue that excites strong passions, and police departments nationwide are calling in officers on leave, beefing up existing resources.
But apparently it is the lyrics, rather than the actual mind-numbing melody, that worries officials most.
There is the rote quality of the rhyme scheme, for instance, the sort of thing moody seventh graders quickly etch into school bus windows with their diamond nose studs:
You and I
Were meant to fly
Higher than the clouds
We’ll sail across the sky
So come with me
And you will feel
That we’re soaring
That we’re floating up so high
‘Cause you and I were meant to fly
But beyond that lies a larger problem: this theme, after all, will blare into the stands at each and every gathering Hillary Clinton attends. Hundreds of thousands if not millions of Americans will be exposed to the implications of the lyric.
Which makes this final quasi-erotic verse all the more disquieting:
Sailing like a bird high on the wings of love
Take me higher than all the stars above
I’m burning, yearning
Gently turning round and round
I’m always rising up I never
Want to come back down
With Bill Clinton’s own illicit history so thinly veiled at this point, any light hint of eroticism would be too much. But this lyric goes far beyond suggestion: it reads like a cross between Barry White and a how-to treatise by Doctor Ruth.
Don’t get VDB wrong: admittedly there was a time, long ago, during the ‘92 campaign, when we might have been somewhat more accepting of these come-hither implications where Hillary is concerned.
Let’s just say that change was in the air.
But that was then. And this, undeniably, is now.
Granted, as theme song snafus go, the Dion pick can’t hold a candle to Rich Tarrant’s botched selection, but that’s thin comfort, thin comfort indeed.
Stay tuned to VDB during this difficult time. And hug your children tonight.